Living in the Anti-Male era
Discussing ideas from a variety of perspectives has appeal to it. There is a genuine urge to test what we know on the world’s platform. This is what attracted many of us to Medium and other websites that provoke thought sharing. The goal is to share /soak up great ideas and let them help us become better people. This process is currently undergoing changes. Instead of using conflict to learn and grow it is used to belittle and label. I am not here to throw a pity party. The current culture presents a unique challenge for men who want to stand for what they believe in. Before we engage it is important to understand one primary idea. When you stand for what you believe in you will get shit for it. If you do not stand for what you believe in out of fear of rejection, you will get shit for it. Those are your prizes. In today’s world, it does not matter what we do there will be harsh criticism regardless of your political affiliation or moral beliefs. We live in an anti-male era, but that does not mean we cannot find peace with our choices and ultimately our lives.
I’ve been watching quite a bit of Jordan Peterson the past 3–4 years. Initially, I showed up for the scandal, and I was smitten by his knowledge. Here was this man refusing to let his country force speaking patterns on him. I think it is a noble effort. No country should force people to use certain speech patterns. On the surface, that looks like a way to open the doors to oppression. If the government can force people to speak a certain way, then what else can the government force people to do? This is a great example of a man standing for what he believes in. Immediately the response to Jordan was to use the plight of the trans person to justify the governmental shift in power. He would often receive questions like this;
“What about the person struggling with gender identity, are you saying you will not use their preferred pronoun”?
This is a classic misdirection. On every account, Jordan has claimed he will use their pronouns and he has. By merely taking a stance in what he believes the criticism must come, and it does not have to be based in truth. Jordan Peterson made it clear he will not stand for is the government taking a position of forcing people to use certain types of speech. There is no precedent in history where the government has forced speech patterns on its citizens. This is a great answer with the proper historical context. Then it de-evolves into the following assumption;
“Oh well you just hate trans people and you are using this argument to cover for that insecurity”?
Here the true agenda reveals itself and this tactic becomes the norm. An untested theory about someone is conceived solely based on whether we agree with them. Then no matter what the truth is, we can hold on to our opinions because this person must be beneath me. Disagreeing with someone does not make me better than them. This self-serving attack method is useless. Why talk to another person if there is no intention of listening? I am at fault for this too at times and I’m sure we all are. This method cannot rest as our default whenever we engage with someone who has a different point of view than we do. I want to stick with Jordan Peterson because everything is readily re-searchable. There is a radio interview here;
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ER1LOarlgg.
This is the world we have created for young men, and it is why I am writing this. The vitriol is hidden in the context of equality. Here it is again Jordan is standing up for what he believes in. Young men deserve to have a quality of life. Yet, he is accused of having a mostly male audience which I find very odd. Every woman that interviews him articulates this as if it is criminal, and I am not sure why the question needs asking. It opens the door to this idea that if women are not interested then there is no value in the content… which on its face is bullshit, but it does represent an undercurrent in our discussions. If it is approved by women first, then the men can follow. In short, no life does not work this way. Then I watch Jordan break down in tears (in the video above) because he has encountered so many young men who feel they have nothing to live for. It is obvious why he has so many male followers. He cares about men and their quality of life. He understands the pressure men face to accept the responsibility for every man’s sins, and the pressure to hate themselves. Jordan challenges this message by telling men they are valuable, and he is being vilified for it. Up until recently, I would have a hard time understanding this mentality. I see it clearly now.
There is a music video by Childish Gambino called “This is America”. One component in that video illustrates America being fine with death as long as we are entertained. Is there a portion of America that is entertained with male failure, male depression, and ultimately male suicide? When this subject comes up we are sold the same response “Men are too macho to talk about their problems”. Every time men try to gather themselves to discuss their issues who shows up to publicly shut it down? Overwhelmingly, it is women and LGBT groups that lead these charges against men forming groups to discuss issues surrounding suicide and mental health. Are women and LGBT people collectively to blame here? Suddenly, at this juncture collectivism is wrong. Just because someone is LGBT or a woman does not mean they are against men seeking to understand their thoughts and emotions better. Hopefully, you see the shift here because in this instance we are willing to apply a different set of standards to the situation, and grant individuality to people within these groups. However, when a Brock Turner strikes the message reverts to collectivism and we must teach men not to rape. Suggesting that rape is an inherent gene that we get from our fathers as gametes. Furthermore, what other messages can those public protests send to men on a general level? No one gives a shit about how you feel, and no one wants to hear you talk about your feelings. Are men keeping quiet to be macho, or are they just trying to survive the pending hostility? There is something deeply satisfying about a male failure to certain groups of people. I will challenge it by encouraging men to live a life full of purpose. One of my professors asked me if I would like to start a group for young men on campus. I said I cannot do it publicly and she agreed. This is where we are America. Teaching young men they have value, and there is something they are destined to be great at is controversial? I suppose this conversation will de-evolve more before we get a to place where growth is possible. As a man who grew up in a system that painted him the enemy for being a black male, I do not wish this treatment on anyone. Maybe we will wake up to it, or maybe it is just too damn entertaining to change.
Men these hurdles are there for us and getting past them is going to be tough. Do not seek comfort in pointing at a hurdle and protesting its existence. Our lives must be about moving forward, and if help is needed then it is on us (men) to search for it. I love my mentors. They helped me through so much, and their insight was vital to my growth. Learn to get addicted to growth guys! Do the things you know you are supposed to do. Do not make it a habit to ignore yourself and your needs. I always say think big and start small. If there are medicines you need to take daily take them, keep your room or house tidy. Take care of the immediate needs that are in front of you. As you begin to add value to yourself larger goals will come to mind. We will not reach those goals until we learn how to make it a priority to take care of ourselves first. Remember you are not responsible for everything every man has ever done wrong in this world. You are only responsible for your actions, so choose them carefully and be strong in this mindset. In today’s climate you will be judged harshly, and labeled no matter what you do. It is your destiny to walk through this fire, find your path and follow it. I want to expose you to some ideas on how to succeed by following your heart. Finally, men you do not have to prove your humanity to anyone, it was given to you the day you were born. Your value is determined by you and you alone, not the mob of people that seek to be entertained by your failure. In my next article, I will talk about some of the right and wrong ways we can react to this pressure.
Live well.
